perfect harmony

Intimacy is such a wonderful thing; there is no single way to define it. It can mean different things to different people, but we can’t deny that the essence of a relationship – no matter what its other factors are – is intimacy.

I could say true intimacy is holding hands and watching the sun set behind cotton candy clouds, or staring into each other’s eyes as a slow song plays in the background, or being able to kiss them passionately, but in a thoroughly non-sexual way.

Today, however, you can’t judge someone else’s relationship, or gauge their level of involvement on the things they do as a couple. However, what goes unsaid is that sex is easy. It doesn’t take much to focus on your body and it’s needs, to look at it as the means to an end rather than an end in itself. So what really does intimacy mean to us these days?

Of course, being able to have conversations about nothing in particular is beautiful in itself too. Or not having conversations at all. Intimacy is bubbles of space punctuated by the distant sounds of dogs barking or the crinkle of paper or quiet breathing – when two individuals exist in perfect harmony, in sync with each other and still not feeling the need to prattle on about something or other.

It’s special to find someone you can share your hopes and dreams and ambitions with, but it is also pretty damn amazing to be able to shut down, unwind, and be perfectly still with someone.

If you can welcome your partner home from a long, hard day at work, share their meal, give them a massage or hold them close as they crib about their horrible boss or job, and with all your passion and longing and belonging, listen to their breathing quiet down as they fall asleep; only then you know you’re truly intimate.